I faked an abortion last night.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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