So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
