Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
