We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
