i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
