Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
