OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
