You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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