I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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