You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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