what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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