Only a mothe r could love this liver
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
