Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize