Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
