Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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