i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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