At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
