addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
