I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize