actually, I'm a sock model
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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