Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
