just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
