i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
