are you so shy because you have an std?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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