Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
