When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You ate ashes out of my bong
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
