She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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