So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
