Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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