As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
