He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
