I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
