but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
