we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize