The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
How's work?
Spinning.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
