i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize