I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
