i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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