Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
