someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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