How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
