Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
