he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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