i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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