tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
only if we run a train.
done.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just found puke in my bra..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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