He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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