Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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