So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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