It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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