Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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