Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
