Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
