we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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