my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
