So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
