All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
we're so committed to being not committed
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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