My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We talked him into tasing himself.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I see more hoeing in ur future
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