I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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