if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
