i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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