so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
