My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
how does that bad decision feel?
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