Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
