we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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