love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
