dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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