bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
