if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
