Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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