How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
