I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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