so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
