Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
