I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
