Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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