What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
honey bunches of taint.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
