sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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