im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I haven't been this sober since birth.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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