TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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