Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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