Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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