HIV tests are more positive than that guy
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
