I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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